Wait….STOP THE PRESSES! PARENTS LIE!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?
Of course parents lie! I lie to my kid sometimes. White lies – nothing that will really change his view on the world or his perception of other people. Things like: You have to go to bed soon, no you can’t have cake for breakfast, I just found your fish dead (I had accidentally put it in water that was too hot, and it died, tragic, really).
I came across one major lie that I have huge issue with – and it’s at the root of a lot of our issues I believe. What’s worse, is that it ISN’T a lie, not really. Let me try to explain, I know I’m confusing you.
How many times did you hear growing up, from your parents directly, or books or tv or movies, “It’s not what’s on the outside that matters, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”? It’s a social norm to tell our kids this, something that could be considered a universal truth.
It was after a family gathering that I had this thought. My brother was telling people how he wanted to get snakebites and a tattoo for Christmas. He’s seventeen, so he’s at the prime age to experiment with different looks and body modifications. I was a year younger than him when I got my tattoo, and by the time I was his age I’d had my hair at least three different colors. So piercings and a tattoo isn’t too crazy to me. It was a normal enough idea to me, but my family was all up in arms about it.
“But what will people think? What will schools think? How will you get a job? Don’t you want to be an architect? How will you ever get hired anywhere with facial piercings?”
Umm….how about with his MERIT? How about his intelligence and his credentials? If it’s on the INSIDE that matters…WHO CARES how he looks?! I’m confused. Which is it?!
You tell us such placating words like, “You can do whatever you want so long as you put your mind to it” and “Hard work pays off” and then you come back around and tell us that people ARE going to judge us based on something as dumb as how we LOOK and NOT what’s inside.
This is my issue with society. You tell us these lies, and then decide at some point that they don’t mean anything.
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE ISSUES. If it’s what’s on the inside that counts, why do we have racists, sexists, xenophobes, homophobes, and every other negative, derogatory term in the book that stands for someone opposing someone because of OUTSIDE influences?
I don’t understand how something that we’re ALL taught can be universally accepted as untrue at some point. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN!? WHEN IS IT ACCEPTABLE FOR THE TRUTH TO BECOME A LIE!? TRUTH?
You need to take a look at yourself, ask yourself what’s really true and try to change your view and then try to influence other people around you to do the same. Don’t pass over someone’s resume because you look them up and see they have crap all in their face, or tattoos on their arms. Don’t judge someone based off of the color of their skin, or the beliefs that they have that are different than your own, or by what they might choose to do in the privacy of their own home. THIS is why we’re all constantly at odds with each other, is because we allow ourselves to believe that the OUTSIDE matters more than the INSIDE…and that’s not true. It’s what we’re told as children…your inside matters more, THAT’S the truth, but we allow it to be swept under the rug. Some of my smartest, kindest, most wonderful friends have tattoos and piercings, different skin colors, different beliefs than I do (sometimes drastically so) but I accept that, and I accept them, and I care for the person that they ARE, not the person that they SEEM to be.
We’re not here to judge other people. If you judge someone, allow it to be based upon their CHARACTER...THAT is the ONLY part of a person that matters.
In the words of John F. Kennedy, “One person can make a difference and everyone should try.” I know that I live by those words…do you?